A first

I'm not proud, but today a first happened to me after 9 years of teaching.   The kids actually made me start to cry.  Darn it!  I hate it that it happened!   I am not usually an emotional ball of goo-- but they worked on me all day and wore me down.  My regular hard-hitters were on cue all day and I was deflecting them left and right with the best of them.  The hit I took that left me wavering with watery eyes and a quivery voice came out of right field. It was from one of my good kids.  One of the kids who who generally gives me joy when I teach.    He was mad and thought I was being unfair.  

We had an assembly today that was scheduled during our recess time. The children were upset because assemblies are always scheduled then.  I empathized with them but told them I didn't think it would change.  The assembly finished with about 30 minutes left before school was out for the day.  Our class still had things to pass out and closure to have for the week so we headed back to the room.  However, the other classes in our grade decided to go outside for a recess time.

My class whined and complained all the way to the room.  I considered letting them go out as soon as we got our things passed out, but they continued to whine and complain, and then began to accuse me of being unfair to them.  It didn't bother me at all until my good kid started in on me.  He told me that it is not fair because our class always misses alot of recess. 

I reminded him and the class that just yesterday our class took a double recess ( and only our class--the other classes went inside at the regular time).  He then went on to say that I sit at the computer and check my email and our class misses part of their recess all the time. 

Now I know this is not true.  I never check my email or do any personal things on class time.  In fact, I told the class that I felt I was more than generous with the free time and recess that they had.

I guess I am hurt because they don't realize how much I care and put in to working for them.  How many hours I give for the class.  It is not worth it.  When even my good kids begin to turn against me and take the joy from me, then I might as well stop putting in the time that I do. Maybe I will just do the 40 hours from now on and whatever doesnt get done--oh well.

No more tears for me.